Jimmy Kimmel’s pick for president: “a kind-hearted lesbian moose”

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American late-night comedy commentators have been making hay out of U.S. President Donald Trump’s recent remarks about Canada. And while international trade tariffs may be a little obtuse a subject for humour, his “51st state” musings are proving more fruitful.

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The latest to weigh in was the host of Jimmy Kimmel Live, who this week suggested that a sudden influx of some 41 million people into the Republic might change the political landscape, and not in the way Trump hopes.

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“Let’s just imagine for a second that somehow they do make this happen and Canada does become a state,” he said on Jimmy Kimmel Live. “Do they think it would be a red state?”

He noted that Canada’s population is about equal to that of California. “California has 54 electoral votes. If Canada also had 54 electoral votes, forget MAGA, our next president will be a kind-hearted lesbian moose.”

He then added: “I’m for it! Save us Canada; you’re our only hope.”

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Kimmel also took aim at the huge difference in the amount of fentanyl coming into the U.S. from Canada versus Mexico, noting that 21,000 pounds came across the southern border last year, but only about 43 pounds from Canada — or as he put it, “about one-seventh of a Donald Trump worth of fentanyl.”

Kimmel also took aim at Canada’s announcement of a “new intelligence directive on organized crime” backed by $200-million in spending, noting that (A) that’s less money than the Blue Jays offered Juan Soto, and he still went to the Yankees, and (B) the directive wasn’t even new.

This was backed up by a clip from CNN in which a White House spokesperson, on being told the “new” plan had been announced six weeks ago, replied: “Well at least he’s reiterated it and formalized it.”

Said Kimmel: “Under President Trump our allies will be reiterating in their boots from now on.”

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